My Mother is My Wedding Planner. Help!

(Disclaimer:  This is a completely fictional account of a mother trying to help her daughter plan her wedding and the pitfalls they encounter.  Any similarities to real individuals is very probable and too numerous to mention!)




(daughter) OMG!  My mother is helping me with my wedding!  I think we're both going to go crazy before this is over! 

(mother) OMG!  I'm trying to help my daughter plan her wedding and I may go crazy by the time it's over!




The minute we announced our engagement, she jumped in and started pestering me about the date and where it was going to be and how were we going to afford it and who should be invited.  She wanted to start visiting venues and wanted to talk to her church and she had a plan already figured out without even discussing what I wanted.



When she announced her engagement, all she wanted to do was get her nails done and go dress shopping.  She has no idea how much things cost and I'm trying to figure out how we're going to pay for this.  I don't think she's being very realistic.   I'll do everything I can for her, though, because I love her and I don't want her to have a wedding like I had.  It was nothing like I wanted and I was so disappointed.  I want her to have the beautiful traditional wedding that I never had.



I found the perfect dress!!  It's only $2,500 and it's exactly like the one I saw on "Say Yes to the Platinum Wedding Dress"



Why can't she just wear the dress I wore?  What happened to tradition?

But, Mom, that's not my style at all!  I like sleek and modern and dramatic; not crystal chandeliers and vintage.



What do you mean this space only holds up to 200?  But we've invited 350 people?  Now what do we do?



I have no idea what flowers I want.  I just know I want hot pink and orange.  No, really Mom, I don't want white flowers.  And I want them to look "modern".  I don't know how else to describe it.


 Wait a minute!  We only invited Bob and Sue Smith; not their 3 kids.  How do I deal with this without losing friends and being the bad guy?


 Who are these people on the guest list, Mom?  I don't even know them.  Why can't I invite my entire cheeleading squad  and my sorority sisters from college?  Bummer!




 OMG!  It's her wedding day and I haven't slept in a week!  I have guests from out of town.  The groom's family is making requests for additional guests, I spent all night doing the place cards, I have to get down to the reception site to decorate and I have no time to get my hair done.

OMG!  It's my wedding day!!!  I'm so excited!!  I'm so nervous!!  My mother is making me crazy and we've done nothing but argue in the last month.  This shouldn't be so stressful.  I wish we had hired a wedding planner.  I think I'm going to cry!



OMG!  The day is over and I'm exhausted!!  I don't remember anything about the day other than running all over the place trying to take care of things.  I didn't have time to have a good time and now the day is over and I feel as though I've missed everything that should have been fun.  I wish we had hired a wedding planner.  I think I'm going to cry!

Why Are Events a Good Investment for Businesses?

  

What do companies like Sony, State Farm, John Deere, Ashford University and others recognize about corporate events?  They know, first hand, the huge value a special event can have for employee motivation, increased sales and public goodwill.  

Have you ever received a piece of junk mail advertising that required you to peel something off and stick it somewhere; remove a card or put Tab A into Slot B or even play a sound bite?  This is a way to engage the recipients in the mailed advertising instead of just throwing a blurb at them from a page.  The advertiser understands that, by engaging the target of the ad, they have an increased opportunity for a sale.  Think, then, what an event could do to engage your targeted market?  Whether your company wants to introduce a new product or service; celebrate a hallmark achievement or thank existing customers and network with potential new customers, a showcase event or conference might be the perfect vehicle to create enhanced visibility and business.  

What better way to engage potential customers than inviting them to participate in an event that gives them value in return for their attendance?  Whether creating a networking opportunity in a social setting or providing information via special speakers, forums or product roll-outs, your business can enjoy a return on investment in the form of increased visibility and profits.

Another added value in business events is the impact on employee morale.  When your employees have surpassed their goals or even if they're struggling to achieve them, special events can serve to both acknowledge achievements as well as inspire and ignite renewed confidence.  Nothing feels better than your employer appreciating your efforts.  By the same token, when employees show signs of stagnation, a conference or retreat, complete with re-education, team-building, brainstorming, motivational speakers or exercises and even a little fun might be just the ticket to rekindle the spark that is needed.

One can't overlook the value of public goodwill for a company.  Events that assist a social cause or charity, either monetarily or through volunteerism, can enhance any company's visibility.  It also can help give employees a sense of purpose beyond company profit which also can be inspirational to your workforce, while, at the same time, making your company more high profile in your community, a win-win for any socially conscious organization.

(Photo by Jeff Wros Photography)

(Photo by Jeff Wros Photography)

Corporate events can be large or small; intimate or embrace the community at large.  While they can be expensive, as any form of advertising can be, they need not break the bank and can capitalize on the resources within the company.  The return on investment makes a corporate event well worth considering as part of any company's advertising or human resources budget.

The First Appointment is the Most Important

I love meeting potential new brides for the very first time.  If I'm lucky, they'll bring at least one family member and/or their fiance with them, which gives me the opportunity to learn a lot about the family dynamic and the nature of the relationship between bride and groom.  Our first meeting often goes as long as two hours and is always relaxed and fun.  We try to make it a happy, stress-free experience, complete with refreshments, comfortable chairs and pleasant atmosphere.

I'm a terrible salesperson, I suppose, because the last thing I ever think about is "making the sale".  I think people are just so darned interesting!  Who has the strong personality?  Do they have a sense of humor or are they more serious?  What is the relationship of the bride with her family or the groom with his?  What do they do for a living?  (Having grown up with a bunch of mechanical engineers in my family, I can pick those people out without even trying!)  What's their style like?  What are their concerns?

While we do spend time talking about their vision for their weddings, mostly we talk about other likes and dislikes; what's your favorite color, favorite food, etc.  However, by spending that time talking about seemingly innocuous things, I learn a great deal about them.  In fact, helping them plan their wedding is more about what makes them comfortable and how to prepare to help them than anything else.  It would not be a good thing to recommend (hypothetically) ball fringe to someone with chrome and glass tastes.  That's why our initial meeting is so important and goes so long.  I want to learn about who YOU are; not just what your wedding colors are.  If you want me to help you, I need to know as much about you as I reasonably can, in a short period of time, without invading your privacy.

And, speaking of privacy, that's something that is absolutely critical about my relationship with my clients.  They share a lot of confidential information with me, from financial to interpersonal.  They confide a great deal in me, which is truly an honor.  I respect that trust and they must have absolute confidence that I won't betray it by disclosing what they tell me to anyone else.  Even in a first meeting, there are inklings of those issues, which help me help them if I get to work with them.

People often call for just a price quote over the phone.  While I know that would be the most expedient thing for them, it isn't realistic from my standpoint.  I know there are a lot of planners out there with lots of package deals with pretty names.  The problem is that those packages don't fit everyone.  They may offer more than what the client wants or they don't include things that they DO want.  Since we customize what we do to fit each prospective client's needs and wants, our first meeting is extremely important.  It is from that meeting that we offer the client suggestions of what we can do to help them and what it would cost.  At that point, once we've answered any questions they may have, we let them go home. 

We don't push for a sale.  We don't shove a contract in front of them.  We let them go home where they can discuss if we're a good fit for them or not in private.  I figure that couples have enough pressure on them as it is; they don't need me compounding the pressure by breathing down their necks to get them to make a decision while they're sitting in my office.  Obviously, if they know they definitely want our services, I'm happy to set them up while they're sitting there.  However, primarily, the objective of the first meeting is to get acquainted and give the prospective client a sense of what it would be like to work with us; relaxed, fun, interesting and all about them and their needs.