Money Saving Tricks

One of the first meetings I have with a wedding client covers the budget and how to get the most out of the resources that are available.  Most people are concerned about cost and how to make everything they want fit their respective budgets.  Following are some easy techniques I've learned to help my clients save money and get the most bang for the buck.

Invitations and Save-the-Dates:  If you haven't checked out on-line companies like Vistaprint (www.vistaprint.com), you should!  They offer social and wedding invitations and often have promotions providing up to 100 postcards for free.  You can upload your own photo for a small price or use one of their graphics to design your own.  Post cards are your best bet for Save-the-Dates as well as response cards to include with whatever invitation you use.  Even if you don't use an online printing company, you can print your response cards using computer printable postcard stock from an office supply store.  Not only will it save you money to print them yourself, but postcard postage is a lot less expensive than first class postage.  While making your own invitations may save you money, it usually doesn't save you time and, unless you have nothing but time on your hands, I don't think it's such a great trade-off unless it's something you really love to do.  (Another hint:  if you're making your own invitations, be sure to pick the envelope you plan to use BEFORE you start so you're sure whatever you create fit's a mailer.)

No money for specialty linens?  No problem!  The key is to add color, texture or glam to your tabletop so as to create more interest than a standard white or ivory poly-cotton tablecloth can do.  One of the easiest techniques, if you don't have the money to rent colored or fancy linens, is to rent colored napkins.  At $.25 to $.50 each, you can add all of the color you want for minimal money.  Even if you don't rent colored napkins for the place settings, seriously consider renting one for the center of your table.  Having color under your centerpiece will make it pop and give your decor more bang for the buck.  If you want something with a little more pizzazz or in an unusual color, simply buy fabric by the yard--you can get 4 - 18" squares out of a yard of fabric--to cut enough squares to put one on each table.  Don't sew?  No problem!  You can either cut them out with pinking shears (v-cut shaped blades) or glue or tape under the edges to finish them.

Another idea would be to have a sweetheart table and dress it in a pretty tablecloth to make it the "jewel" in the room.

Is your flower budget really tight?  Boy, here's an area that is chock full of ways to save!  First, avoid big floral arrangements at church.  Usually, you'd have to spend around $250 and up to create an arrangement large enough to be visible at a church altar.  Often, the view of any flowers is going to be obstructed by the wedding party standing there.  Not only that, but spend your money where it's going to have the most impact; where people will see it.  In the scheme of things, the time spent at the wedding ceremony is only a fraction of the time spent at the reception.  If you're planning to have flowers at the ceremony site, make them so they can be used as part of the reception decor. 

If you have a unity candle at the ceremony, have your florist create a floral arrangement around it that can be transferred and used as your centerpiece at your head table or sweetheart table.  If you have floral sprays on standing candelabras, see if you can't use them somewhere at the reception so you're getting the most value for the expense (see below).

Before

After

While pew bows may appeal to you, where will you be able to use them at the reception as part of your decor?  We have frequently recommended to our clients that they have a floral spray or greenery spray with a ribbon streamer as a pew decoration that we can pull off the pews after the ceremony and lay on the table around the base of a candle jar as a table centerpiece at the reception; having them work double-duty.

If your budget just won't make it possible to have floral centerpieces for your reception, fear not!  The first rule of decorating for a party is that lighting is key to creating the atmosphere.  (And, if you can't light it because it's daylight, use color to create the atmosphere).  Lighting is everything when it comes to creating a "wow" at an event.  So, if flowers aren't going to work, do it with candlelight.  Most venues won't allow you to have candles outside of containers because they present a fire hazard.  You can either rent or buy very inexpensive cylinder jars to house pillar candles, or you can cluster votive candles in jars or other containers that you can recycle/repurpose (know anyone with a baby eating baby food???).  You can go to thrift stores or garage sales and pick up containers and create eclectic collections of containers in different sizes and shapes.  Cluster these in groups of 3 or other odd number (even numbers just don't seem to work, visually).  You can also scrunch up interesting fabric underneath the candle jars to add color and texture and--voila'!--you have a dramatic centerpiece that is impressive for your ambiance.  Can you imagine walking into a room that features a glow of candles from every table?

There are some great on-line sources for inexpensive candles.  Check out www.cudge.net or www.sav-on-crafts.com, www.candles4less.com and others.  You can also watch for sales at craft stores like Michaels or Hobby Lobby and get a battalion of friends to with you to buy as many as you can carry.

Can't afford the cake you saw in "Martha Stewart Weddings"?  Quite frankly, most of us can't!  But, you can still use that cake as an inspiration for yours.  Here are a couple of ways to do it.  First of all, keep in mind that cake pricing, like anything, is based on time and materials--as well as the artisanship of the cake designer.  If you really love the look of sugarpaste flowers but can't afford them, select some tasteful silk flowers (which can be just about as expensive as the real thing but at least they don't wilt or--worse yet--die).  If you like the look of rolled fondant but can't afford it, you might be surprised to know that most cake designers are so good at what they do that they can make their standard icing so smooth that it looks like fondant without the cost. 

Don't care and still want rolled fondant and sugar past flowers?  That's okay.  But go with a smaller 2- or 3-tiered cake (maybe 12", 10" and 6" tiers) on a stand of some kind that elevates it and makes it more important-looking (a sturdy box with scrunched gorgeous fabric works great) and have kitchen cakes with standard icing and no decoration to keep the cost down.  The little cake takes center stage and gets all of the oohs and ahhs but feeds only a limited number of guests.  Just remember that the more labor-intensive the design is, or the more materials that are required, the more expensive the cake becomes.

Feeding the guests:  The same rule in cake cost applies to food costs.  Don't think for a moment that serving only appetizers is going to cost less.  If your caterer has to prepare little single serving portions of something, your cost will go up because of time and materials.  Also, if you're serving hors d'oeuvres for a cocktail hour, enforce some portion control by having the most expensive items "butlered" or passed by waitstaff instead of being part of an hors d'oeuvres buffet.  It's one thing to have Swedish meatballs in a chafing dish (meatballs purchased frozen in a bag) or cheese and fruit trays with crackers on a buffet table.  But, the minute you put chilled shrimp cocktail out, or some relatively higher-priced item, there will be those guests who decide to make dinner out of it and it's "damn the torpedoes, full steam ahead!"  Suddenly, that expensive hors d'oeuvres has fed 10 people and it's gone!  By having the more pricey items  passed by waitstaff, you can limit consumption as rarely will a guest help himself to more than 2 items off of the wait-person's tray.

Also, as you are considering your menu for a reception dinner, keep the cost of food in mind.  Obviously, pasta dishes will be your least expensive entree.  Chicken is probably next on the list, price-wise, with pork coming next followed by certain fish dishes.  Beef and shellfish usually top the list where price is concerned.  If you really, really, really have to have beef but money is an issue, the obvious solution is to go with the cheaper cuts of meat--Swiss steak comes to mind--or going with a comparatively small serving.  The serving can be enhanced with special sauces or condiments or toppings to make it look more than it is.  By the same token, the less expensive options can also be zhoozhed up with complimentary toppings such as fruit sauces or vegetable garnishes.  Go heavy on salads or vegetable sides and starches (potatoes, rice, breads, etc.) to make the meal filling.

If you're reading this, I hope you find some of these tips helpful; or at least that you've become inspired to brainstorm and find some of your own methods of making the most out of your budget. 

Get it in Writing!

I suppose I tend to obscess about service agreements, or contracts, due to my past life handling auto accident claims and claim litigation.  Having been in the insurance industry, contracts and contract law became a very important part of my professional life.  However, even though the idea of a contract may intimidate some people, I assure you that a proper contract is your best insurance against misunderstandings, lack of clarity and can even provide legal recourse if a service provider fails to deliver.

First, I must clarify that I am NOT an attorney and nothing I offer in this blog should be construed as legal advice.  I only want to share my years of experience in the hope that both vendors as well as customers can benefit from it.  One of the very first things we did, as a company, was to have a qualified attorney help us draft a service agreement; aka, a contract.  Contracts can come in many forms, however, they should clearly describe the service(s) you've agreed to as well as the cost and payment arrangements.  Obviously, it should also state your name, the date of your event and other details such as location, time and contact information of those involved.

It should also include any conditions or limitations that may apply; such as cancellation, limits of financial responsibility, warranties and more.  If it's not in the contract, a vendor cannot assert other limitations after the fact.  For example, if the contract doesn't impose any loss of deposit in the event of cancellation, the vendor cannot later state that you've forfeited the deposit if you have to cancel.

Verbal contracts can be legally binding as long as everyone agrees to what the terms are, but how do you prove the terms of the verbal agreement if you disagree about what they were?  In my world, if it's not in writing, you have no promise of service.  The other thing that concerns me, in this technological age, is the growth of virtual signatures; "writing" your signature on an I-Pad or laptop screen and then having the vendor send you the agreement later.  It's one thing if they immediately e-mail to you or print off the service agreement while you're sitting there, but what is to prevent an unscrupulous person from altering or editing the terms of the service agreement after the fact?  Suddenly, you've put your name on something that has changed without your knowledge or agreement.  You should expect to receive a copy of the service at the time you sign it.

Contracts protect the interests of both the service provider and the customer by clearly laying out the details of the agreement.  It avoids confusion by detailing exactly what you are getting for what you are paying.  I once had a bride for whom we agreed to provide a number of services during her wedding day.  It included setting up the room, refreshing the beverage station and monitoring the buffet during the reception, cleaning up the catering kitchen, removing garbage and general clean-up.  After packing up all of the left-over food from the buffet, assembling all of the cake components that had to go back to the cake designer, boxing the rented bowls that had to go back to the florist and gathering the rented beer kegs that had to go back to the liquor store, the bride became upset when I wouldn't agree to return all of those items to their proper sources.  I was able to show her the service agreement that enumerated exactly what we had agreed to do for her.  While I might have considered helping her under different circumstances, I was not going to be available to take everything back.  In that case, the service agreement protected MY interests.

If there is any ambiguouty such that the terms of a contract can be interpreted more than one way, courts normally interpret that amibuouty in favor of the person who signed the contract and not in favor of the one who wrote it since the one who wrote it has ultimate control over the terms and wording.  While I don't encourage lawsuits, I recognize that some situations may warrant going before a judge or magistrate in a small claims suit as the only recourse to get money back or other legal redress.

As you plan your event or wedding, the measure of the quality of the vendors you are considering, in my opinion, is in large part based on their level of professionalism and good business-like procedures.  Once you've chosen a vendor, that person should present you with a clearly written, concise and understandable contract for services or products.  They should be willing to walk through the details of the contract with you and answer any questions you may have.  They shouldn't rush you through that process.  If you are feeling uncertain, ask to take the written contract home with you so you can read it more carefully.  If you feel something should be clarified, have the vendor clarify it in writing.

So, while contracts can be intimidating to some, they are, in fact, your best friend to assure that you are getting exactly what you think you're paying for.  And, if you are a vendor of products or services and only have a service agreement you wrote yourself--or none at all--it is in your best interests to have an attorney review it to correct any shortcomings immediately.

Weddings, An Emotional Mine Field

Weddings can be a veritable minefield of emotional issues if one isn't careful to recognize possible dangers and take precautions to avoid them.  As if the anxieties mothers and daughters experience trying to work as a team and keep everyone happy isn't enough, you can have added issues involving finances, divorce, blended families, to have children or not to have children at the event, and so much more.  I sometimes think I could write a book on this subject alone so if this article runs a little long, I apologize in advance.

Mothers and daughters have a unique dynamic all their own.  When the daughter is in her teens, it can sometimes be almost a love/hate relationship as the teenager tests her wings of independence and mother keeps trying to maintain her dominion over the household and her instinct to protect and nurture all within it.  I've come to the conclusion that, unlike many men, women can be very territorial and, as the daughter matures, there seems to be a certain element of conflict as Mom tries to keep a degree of control and daughter begins to assert her independence.   When planning a wedding, I often see this when the bride isn't seeing eye-to-eye with her mother about things from the decor to who the photographer should be, or even, sometimes, who the groom is.  Fortunately, what I also see is both mother and daughter striving very hard to maintain equanimity and patience and tolerance because, above all things, they love each other and don't want anything to interfere with that relationship.  Obviously, this can create stresses on both.

What makes a wedding planner invaluable at a time like this is that he or she becomes the arbitrator to work out compromises while respecting everyone's point of view.  It also helps to "depersonalize" things.  By that I mean that Daughter can have a negative conditioned response to something Mother says regarding the planning, just because her mother said it.  I have found that I can say the very same thing to the bride, virtually verbatim that her mother said, and the bride will accept it readily.  Because it came from a third party and not a close family member, it becomes far more palatable.

In today's world, where divorce and remarriage are so common, it isn't unusual at all for parents to be divorced from one another and to have other spouses or significant others.  Often, this doesn't present a problem since the parents have moved on in their lives and tolerate one another's presence without having an anxiety attack.  In fact, the bride or groom may have a very close relationshiop with a step-parent, which is quite heartwarming.  However, there can be instances in which a parent won't tolerate the other and a great deal of hostility still exists.  Again, this is an instance in which a wedding planner earns his or her keep by being the diplomat to defuse emotionally trying situations.  I tell my couples that I'm their "designated bad-guy"; the one who wrangles recalcitrant parents or step parents or other guests who can't put aside their own hostilities as a gift to the couple for their wedding day.

When faced with such circumstances, the solution is to assert steps dictated by etiquette and to maintain as much distrance between the parties as possible while still being respectful, courteous and professional (if not friendly).  Again, as the third party and not so personally involved, it's easier for a wedding planner to defuse a difficult situation in many cases.  And I strongly recommend utilizing a good etiquette book as it will address such things as where people should sit during the ceremony in cases of divorce, for example.  Where most divorced parents can occupy the front pew together, without coming to blows, some cannot.  In that case, Mom gets the front pew on the aisle and Dad gets the third pew on the aisle, separated by other family members.  When this is explained to Dad as being a rule of etiquette, he may not like it but he at least understands that it wasn't a personal jab at him and is accepted etiquette.

Another stressor on families planning a wedding is the guest list;  who to invite, how many to invite, whether to invite children and where to seat everyone.  I highly recommend that a maximum number of invitees be determined BEFORE starting a guest list.  The total should then be divided up between the bride's parents, groom's parents and bride and groom.  There can be some resentment when one set of parents' invitees overwhelms the guest list to the exclusion of the other set of parents' invitees, so it's easier to create a limit for each side at the outset.  If one set of parents doesn't have enough guests on their list to meet their allowance, it is their option to give the remaining spaces to the other parents or the bride and groom. 

To invite children is entirely up to  the bride and groom and their families.  Some wouldn't think of having a wedding celebration without children whereas others cringe at the thought of having children present; especially when room capacity or the budget limits the number of adult friends and family members they can invite.  If the decision is made to have an adults-only event, (or even have certain children but not everyone's kids) obviously the inner envelope of the invitation should name only those people who are invited. 



I'm often asked about an 'A' list and a 'B' list.  While I try to discourage this as much as possible, I do understand that space limitations can be an issue and there are guests that a family truly would invite if they had the space.  In that case, if you do create a 'B' list, NEVER tell anyone--not even your closest friends or other family members.  The minute you tell someone outside of the inner circle of guest list determiners that there is a 'B' list, I guarantee that it will get out.  Then you most certainly will have people wondering which list they are on.  Also, when you do have an alternative list, be sure and send out the first wave of invitations 8 weeks in advance so you can send out invitations from the second list as soon as you receive a  rejection.  Also, never send out an invitation later than 4 weeks from the wedding date as those invitees will most assuredly know they're on the 'B' list.

Finally, the biggest cause of anxiety in wedding planning is usually financial.  It's important for everyone involved to approach the wedding as realistically as possible and without allowing themselves to be caught up in a tidal wave of enthusiasm and excitement before working up a budget.  I once asked a couple what their budget was.  "Oh, we don't have a budget," they said.  I replied, "Wonderful!  I've always wanted to do a $250,000 wedding!"  Suddenly, there was a budget!  I had a bride tell me, once, that her budget was $8,000.00, which was fine.  The problem was her fiance had gone out and contracted with a DJ for $4,000.00 in services and the room rental was $500 and they were going to serve dinner to 200 guests!  They hadn't even talked about cake, flowers, photographer, menu, etc, and had already spent over half of the budget.

Every couple should, at the very beginning, sit down with their families and work out exactly what they are prepared to spend and where those resources are coming from.  Traditionally, the parents of the bride shoulder the financial burden of the wedding and reception.  However, with couples marrying later in life, after they are financially independent, they are more able to contribute toward the wedding.  The groom's family may offer some assistance with one or more elements of the wedding weekend beyond just the rehearsal dinner.  These things should be discussed frankly so a realistic budget can be determined.  Then, it's important to figure out how much of the budgeted amount should be allocated to the different elements of the wedding BEFORE meeting with vendors so you don't find yourself paying way more for photography, for example, than you can realistically afford.  At the same time, it's important to know what your priorities are and what isn't so important; where can you cut back to save money?

When you're trying to determine what you can afford to feed people, don't be fooled by the "per plate" amount on a catering menu.  That amount does not include tax and gratuity, as a rule.  So, if you've allocated $10,000.00 for your reception with 200 guests--which includes room rental, food and alcohol--be sure to get your calculator out.  $50 per person is NOT what you have to spend.  Let's say the room rents for $500.  That means you have $9,500 to spend on food and beverage for 200 people.  If you divide $9,500 by 200, you get $47.50.  However, that $47.50 has to include tax and gratuity.  If sales tax in your area is 7% and gratuity is 20%, you have to include that 27% in your calculations.  In this example you would divide $47.50 by 1.27 to get the net per person amount; in this case $37.50 per person.  This figure includes any hors d'oeuvres, hosted alcohol as well as the meal.  Once you've done this little exercise, when you go in to speak to your caterer, you'll have a much clearer perspective of what you can and cannot afford and, hopefully, there will be no ugly surprises you weren't prepared for.

So, while it's a given that there can be emotional pitfalls during the planning of a wedding, being prepared for them and working hard to avoid or overcome them will go a long way to relieving emotional upsets.  It's also important to recognize that you can't make everyone happy.  The feelings of those closest to you are the ones to concern yourself with.  Keep communication open and be prepared to compromise.  And if it becomes too stressful, a good wedding planner is the best investment to maintain peace and goodwill and a calm atmosphere.  I happen to know an excellent one!  :-)

What Technology Has Done for the Event Business

Being in the event industry is a little like riding a roller coaster; fast, breathtaking, exhilarating, complete with highs and lows.  Some of the most exciting parts of it are as a result of technological advances.

Look at any industry magazine and you can't miss the "Wows"; LED lighting, holographic special effects, pyrotechnics, exploding balloon walls and the like.  But it goes farther than that.  It's sound technology and projection technology and attendee services technology. 

Speakers and sound boards are smaller, more compact, yet the sound quality is so much richer and clearer.  LED lighting not only changed the way lights can look, but it also made it safer and eco-friendly with much less heat being discharged and far less use of electricity.  Computerized projection equipment like LCD projectors and rear projection screens have improved and enhanced business meetings while reducing space requirements.  Special effect lighting is available to just about anyone who wants a moving starlit sky--with or without clouds--on their ceiling for their wedding reception. 

Decor design now encompasses not only pretty table linens and centerpieces but special lighting affects that create the all-important atmosphere in the room.  Ways to light a space keep multiplying.  There are large inflated lighted floating  globes tethered to the ground to light outdoor spaces; led lights submerged in water, centerpieces with all manner of lighting effects inside them, patterns projected on ceilings and walls like lighted wallpaper.  The decor possibilities are limited only by the lighting designer who's equipment and imagination you're using.

Technology now impacts corporate event attendees like never before.  Now, attendees register on-line for events and download a bar-coded admission ticket.  Gone are the heavy and cumbersome program catalogs and, in their place, are flashdrives or websites with all of the information so you can use your smartphone, tablet or laptop to see seminar outlines and event details.  Obviously, social networking has become a force in the event industry, helping people reach one another to promote events, receive RSVP's, network with one another and share information.

Not only do these advances help the event planner/designer/producer, they also make the possibilities endless for the person or corporate entitly wanting to plan a memorable event.  Yes, the cost factor is still very much a part of the consideration but, as with all technology, prices will settle down once that technology is better established.  I remember when my mother gave my father one of the first hand-held calculators by Texas Instruments back in the 70's.  It cost her almost $200.  Now you can buy one that can do calculus and trigonometry for about $5.00. 

These technological advancements in the event industry have evolved over a relatively brief period of time and can only make us wonder what thrills of the rollercoaster ride are ahead.  No matter what, it will be exciting for both the planner as well as the attendee. 

What if a Wedding Planner Isn't in My Budget

There's nothing that says you HAVE to have a wedding planner, even if I'm a firm believer that a wedding planner will make your life so much easier and your day so much more of what you envisioned that he or she would be well worth the investment. However, I'm a realist and I know that a wedding planner may not be for everyone for any number of reasons.

Wedding planners are relatively new to the wedding planning spectrum.  They've only been on the scene for about the last 20 years or so and began within the domain of a privileged few who had the financial resources to hire someone to plan their wedding soiree.  For that reason, many still perceive bridal consultants as being for the well-to-do.  In fact, a bridal consultant can be a tremendous asset for the not-so-well-to-do, but that's a blog for another day.

This is for those couples who want to join countless others and plan their own weddings.  Following are some notes that you might find helpful along the way; little things I've learned over 13 years of helping couples and their families through the process.

1.  Organization, organization, organization!  A good wedding starts with excellent organization.  While owning a beautiful commercially prepared planner binder is nice, you can save yourself about $30 by going to the office supply store and buying a 3-ring binder with at least a 3 inch (5 inch is better) spine, tabbed dividers and pocket dividers or page protectors.    Each tab will be for a specific catagory: ceremony site, reception site, catering, cake, flowers, music,  photography and videography, transportation, printing and invitations, equipment rental and miscellaneous.  You can even include a tab called "inspiration" to hold pictures and notes of ideas that you'd like to incorporate in your day.

Each category will house contracts and service agreements, contact information, receipts and notes as well as pictures of details that fall into that category.  Once you have the details, you will want to rough in a schedule of the flow of your wedding weekend.  Keep a monthly calendar in the front of your binder to keep track of appointments and obligations such as when you're going to get your marriage license.  Creating that physical sense or organization in the form of an orderly binder of all of your information will also serve to keep you mentally organized and a little less stressed.

2.  Get referrals about vendors from other vendors.  Your ceremony site coordinator may know some great florists.  Your florist may know some lovely venues large enough for your guest list that you hadn't considered before.  Your photographer may know some of the best caterers in town.  The DJ might be a good source of information about videographers or photo booths.  In any community, event service providers tend to be a tightly-knit group and they often know who is good and not-so-good; making them an excellent source of information. 

3.  Get it in writing!  Having spent the better part of my career life in the insurance claims industry, I came to appreciate the value of a good contract or service agreement.  Any vendor worth his or her salt will provide you with something in writing that details exactly what product they will provide or what service(s) they will perform for you, what it will cost and what conditions apply (such as cancellation).  While verbal contracts can be legally binding, they are particularly hard to prove and leave too much room for doubt.  In my world, if it's not in writing, there is no promise of service.  A contract helps avoid confusion and it protects the interests of both the vendor and the client.  It averts misunderstandings and even provides possible legal recourse in cases where the vendor fails to perform the agreed service.

4. Don't try to work your own wedding.  I realize this is easier said than done but neither you nor your mother should be working your wedding day.  Your mother is almost as high profile as you are.  "Mother of the Bride" should be privileged status; she's your hostess.  People want to talk to her and she wants to greet your guests.

Your wedding day flies by almost as fast as the speed of light.  In some cases, you've been planning that day for months, if not years (I've worked with some couples as long as 2 1/2 years!)  You want to be able to enjoy this day you've worked so hard to create.  You should try to savor the moments as much as you can so you'll have some of your own memories of the day and not just the ones created by your photographer.  For that reason, if you know a neighbor, co-worker, distant relative or other acquaintance who has a reputation of being well-organized, not easily ruffled and one who thinks well on their feet, ask that person if they'll orchestrate the day for you.  Also, enlist the help of friends and family to do any decoration or set-up and end-of-day tear-down or clean-up for you.  What better gift could anyone give you than their labor to make sure your wedding day goes smoothly for you?

5. And finally, try to focus on the marriage more than the just the wedding day.  So many brides lose sight of the fact that their big day is the precursor to a life together; a commitment of 2 lives joined as one.  They become so focused on the minutae of the wedding day that it becomes an obsession, resulting in a post wedding day let-down that is almost like post-partum blues, complete with tears.  That was the day the bride was a princess and the center of attention.  For some, the day was all about her and revolved solely around her like the best dream imaginable.  Now , people have gone home, the flowers are wilted, the cake is in crumbs, the food is eaten and the dress is wrinkled and stained hanging in a corner.  Reality comes crashing back in.

When you were a child, do you remember that feeling of gleeful anticipation leading up to Christimas?  And, no matter how great Christmas day was, do you remember the let-down feeling you had the day after when the gifts were put away and Christmas was officially over?  For many brides, it can be that feeling on steroids.  To avoid that sense of loss, focus on something after the wedding; a honeymoon, a visit with friends or a special project.  Keep your wedding day in perspective and don't let it consume you.  Enjoy it for all it is meant to be but don't let it be the end-all and be-all.  Let it be a beginning point to the adventure that marriage can be.  Best wishes to all of you who are or will soon be embarking on planning this most meaningful milepost in your lives together.

If I Hire You, How Much Money Will You Save Me?

Every now and then, I meet a potential client who questions what value we bring to the table and asks the question, "How much money will you save me?"  My honest response is, "I have no idea."  In order to measure savings, you have to know what you would have spent in the first place.  You probably will never know what you might have spent, compared to what you did spend.  Instead, it's more important to look at "Return On Investment" (ROI).  What do you get back for investing in a good event planner, designer, producer or manager? 

Obviously, monetary savings figure into that.  A good event planner is going to be very careful about guiding you in the use of your resources.  Through his or her expertise, knowledge of the market and qualified vendors and networking relationships, you can expect to receive products and services that give you exceptional value and more "bang for the buck", no matter whether it's a wedding, corporate sales meeting or fundraising gala.

Then there is the time savings.  In days gone by, when companies were more financially flush, many larger organizations had in-house event departments.  Today, the number of in-house facilities has dwindled.  Smaller companies have never had a designated department for such things.  Often, that task falls to an administrative assistant or committee of staff members who have their own regularly assigned responsibilities with little time to devote to planning extraneous events. 

For private citizens who wish to celebrate a rite of passage; i.e., wedding, bar mitzvah, quinceanera, anniversary, etc., time must be found between full-time jobs, school and/or family obligations to plan the event, research and meet with vendors and set up and tear down the event.  An experienced planner assumes those responsibilities, enabling their client to make best use of their own work or free time.  In the corporate world, this allows employees to be more efficient and productive; thereby delivering even greater value.

One big ROI is the relief of stress.  Stressed people are less efficient and less productive.  Stress can affect one's health and well-being and can interfere with otherwise healthy interpersonal relationships; whether in the office or on the home-front.  Weddings notoriously can cause strained relations within families that have otherwise been peacefully coexisting or, at least, maintained a measure of mutual disarmament; especially in cases of divorce or blended families.  A planner takes the responsibility of forging a relaxed environment by negotiating details and maintaining diplomacy where needed.  Power struggles are minimized, as a result.

And finally, the big ROI is meeting the objective, or goal, of the event.  Corporate events often seek to motivate sales, improve visibility or enhance morale.  At the beginning stages of the planning process, the goals of the event should be outlined along with meaurement criteria to be able to ultimately ascertain the success of the the event; how well those goals were met.  Social events, like weddings or family reunions have more subjective goals, such as "everyone has fun", "the day is relaxed" or "my family gets along".  Because those ideals are so subjective, they're hard to quantify but easy to qualify by the tenor or "feel" of the event to those people who hosted it. 

So, while we cannot say how much money you'll save by hiring a professional event planner, we can say that a good one will prove his or her value on many levels; making sure your receive excellent value for your expenditures, saving you time, reducing your stress and helping you achieve the goals you wanted from the outset.

What Wedding Vendors to Hire--A Business Decision

 From brides getting ready for their weddings to corporate executives formulating plans for a national sales meeting, deciding who to hire and what vendors meet their needs is part of the decision-making process.  In the corporate climate, it may seem easier to determine who to hire and who isn't needed because business decisions are made every day.  For the bride and her family,  however, this may present a challenge because weddings feel so much more personal and brides are more personally involved.  That often creates a certain degree of angst for the bride who doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings and is feeling pressured to make everyone happy; an impossibility, to say the least.

Once the budget has been established, every bride needs to determine what services she needs and what additional services she wants.  Obviously the "needs' category gets priority over the "wants" category and the latter is often determined by what is left in the budget once the "needs" are addressed.  It's a huge mistake to just try to fit your "budget" to your expenses.  That's going about it backwards and that means you have no real budget at all.  Before you even start contacting vendors, you should make every effort to have an idea of what your budget will bear so you can make the business decisions that need to be made as they apply to your wedding services.

When you start contacting vendors, try to avoid letting emotion rule your decision-making.  It's imperative to incorporate business thinking with the fun and emotion of planning the wedding.  Your chosen vendors should fit your specifice criteria, including reliability, cost factors, reputation, style, product quality, etc.  While bridal shows can be wonderfully inspiring and give you plenty of opportunity to meet vendors, try to avoid letting emotion guide you.  Have a game plan going in so you can enjoy the visit but also focus on who you really want to meet. 

I have seen brides at bridal shows leave their contact information with all manner of vendors they have no intention of using only because they're caught up in the moment.  Or they sincerely think that a particular vendor offers something they'd like to have and go so far as to make an appointment to meet; only to decide that there is no way they can afford to go forward with that service.  What often happens, in the bride's effort to avoid stress and fear of confrontation, is she plays "hide and seek" by using caller-ID or junk e-mail addresses to avoid vendors' contact efforts that she herself initiated.  Worse yet, appointments she may have made might be ignored and vendors who have set aside time to meet with her are frustrated by the "no-show".

There is no harm in cancelling an appointment or telling a vendor you have reconsidered and decided that vendor's service is just not in your budget.  It is a business decision and, in my opinion, it shows maturity and good manners to advise a vendor that you've reconsidered.  That way, you aren't misleading the service provider into thinking he or she should expend more time and energy and expense trying to get your attention.  As a business decision, it doesn't reflect on anyone personally.  No service provider in my acquaintance would object to a phone call to cancel an appointment, nor would they argue whether a potential client could afford their services or that she has found a different vendor who she has already chosen.  Most would appreciate the consideration of being advised.  It shows respect for the vendor's time and effort so he or she can direct their energies elsewhere.  It's perfectly okay for a bride to change her mind and I guarantee that a professional person's feelings will not be hurt. 

Event Planning for Different Ethnicities

Not too long ago, there was an event advertized for wedding vendors as a 2 hour seminar on how to market to different ethnic groups followed by a wedding expo directed at diverse ethnicities.  While I applaud the intent, I couldn't help but feel that the plan was a dollar short.  For the most part, providing for the diverse needs of different ethnic groups can't be done intelligently after only a 2-hour seminar.  Any event vendor who is interested in fulfilling the needs of any group of people must commit themselves to researching and learning as much as possible about that group and their traditions.  And it must be done with the primary goal of meeting a need and not just profit.  A good event planner must embrace the adventure and gratification of learning, understanding and delivering the valuable commodity of informed sevice.  And, having learned from it, be willing to share it with other service providers and venues so as to create an entire compliment of services that meets each client's special needs.

All event service providers must accept change from their status quo.  Not everyone follows the same set of traditions and procedures when they're getting married or reaching adulthood or celebrating any other hallmark life event.  As event people, we can't jam everyone into the same round hole.  It is we who much change and adapt to fit the need.  So, if there is a gay/lesbian couple wishing to marry, we welcome them warmly and create a memorable and heartwarming wedding.  If there is an ethnic group with special culinary requirements that can't be met by the in-house kitchen staff, venues must be willing to allow other qualified caterers to use their facilities while, at the same time, seeking learning opportunties to increase and expand their own skills.  Different religions, traditions, belief systems, etc. deserve the same high level of respect and enlightened service.  If we fail to meet the needs of our diverse community, they will go elsewhere, which is a loss for our clients as well as us.

We are especially blessed to be so diverse.  Our lives are enriched by the global influences in our community.  We become better people and better educated by learning to accept and embrace other points of view.  It would be a disservice to ourselves and the community as a whole not to think globally as we review our business practices and offer our services.

Welcome to Exceptional Events' Blog!

Welcome to our first blog!  There's so much to talk about when it comes to weddings and events and a blog seems the perfect place to discuss topics and answer questions that may be of interest to others.  The best place to begin is probably talking about how we even got into this business:

My beautiful step-daughter (a former Miss Orange County, CA and Miss California runner-up) was getting married in San Francisco back in 1997.  She hired a wedding planner--something I really wasn't familiar with.  The woman charged an extortianate amount of money and Stacy did most of the work.  (To this day, we don't charge as much as that woman for the same level of service!)  To make a long story short, Jim and I thought she didn't do her job well and thought we could do better. 

Jim had always wanted to start a business.  At the time, I was working for a major insurance company specializing in severe auto accident injury claims and claim litigation but, as a hobbyist, had spent years designing and making formal and bridal wear, wedding cakes and wedding flowers.  We spent a year researching the business and I enrolled in Association of Bridal Consultants study program to become a Professional Bridal Consultant.

Fast forward 13 years and here we are.  From being just a wedding planner, we quickly segued to include corporate events, social events, business meetings, conferences and seminars.  I retired from my insurance claims position long ago to be able to devote all of my energies to our event business and never looked back.  I can't imagine doing anything else and consider myself wonderfully blessed to have found a vocation that I truly love.